The grief felt by the death of a loved one is a feeling nobody knows until we find ourselves there. No matter your culture, there are certain rituals to help ground our shock and our pain so that we can heal. Here are five touchstones that may guide you, and those around you, during this dark and confusing time.
Acknowledging the Death
Our initial response to the passing of a loved one can be to deny it – to distance ourselves from the reality of the situation. Once this concept is made personal, it becomes far more complicated. Leading up to the funeral, we must move away from just an intellectual understanding, and acknowledge the reality of death in our own lives.
Allowing the Pain of Loss
Let your body be honest with your mind and your emotions. A funeral is a time where we are allowed to openly express our pain, cry, or wail among family, friends, and acquaintances who can do the same.
Remembering the deceased is beneficial in loving that loved one from the tangible present to the past. Their good and bad moments should be shared, laughed over, and cried over. Remember that, along with mourning the dead, this is a time where you may also celebrate their life in full.
Modern and personalised tributes can help turn a sorrowful experience into a celebration of your loved one’s life. While there are still traditional facilities available for both religious The Importance of Funerals in the Mourning Process and non-religious services, personalised farewells can take place in memorial lounges, outdoors on decked areas, with catering, and even audio-visual technology so friends and family all over can participate.
Searching for Meaning
While we don’t specifically need to discover why death and suffering occurs, we can recognise the necessity of death and how it is fundamentally something that must happen. This is not to undermine the tragedy of losing a loved one, but more-so to find meaning in your own life by looking at the life of the deceased and what it meant to them and you.
Developing a New Self
The loss of someone deeply cherished turns our world around, and it sometimes feels as though part of us as died as well. With the death of a spouse, we are no longer a husband or a wife; with the passing of a child, we are no longer a parent. With this shift in identity, we can feel isolated, unlike ourselves, half empty. But our identity must adapt to this change in self, and most important recognition that we are not alone, and let our friends and family help us become independent of the past.
White Lady Funerals
White Lady Funerals are proud to announce the opening of two beautifully revamped funeral homes in Queensland. Each able to facilitate around 600 people, they include non-denominational chapels as well as more modern services, allowing mourners to celebrate the life of their loved one while maintaining the elegance of a traditional service. By embracing changing views on end-of-life services, operators are eager to engage with community groups that are looking for creative ways to utilise modern venues.
Joanne Smith & Julie Priddle from White Lady Funerals have helped many families to ensure the farewell for a loved one is a true reflection of who the person was and what they meant to others. When asked why they believe funerals were important, Joanne and Julie both agreed that “We need to allow our grief to surface, and a funeral provides a safe and appropriate place to show and share our feelings with others, which set the foundation for ‘good grief’ or healthy grieving. The funeral allows us to be real about how we feel and can help us say; “Thank you.” “I love you.” “I’m lonely without you.” “I’ll always remember you.” “You meant a lot to me.”